an interview with Al

Fail-here: first off, I want to thank you for this opportunity you gave us for this interview.

Al: ;-)

Fail-here: have you ever failed?

Al: you bet. (laughs)

Fail-here: do you remember your first response to your first failure, I mean the first you remember?

Al: well… it was years ago, and I failed in an English course, and when I saw that I said sth like “oh my god I failed!”; and once in a football match I missed a penalty shoot-out I shouldn’t have missed cause we were going to lose, and I went sth like “oh my god I missed it!”

Fail-here: have you experienced graver failures?

Al: I sure did man, I failed so many times, I failed in love in life in everything you can think of, and some of them were very grave and expensive failures.

Fail-here: so, what’s your feelings towards failure?

Al: it’s pretty much cool to me, right now, you know! I don’t say that there never were times I regretted or asked myself what it would have been like if I didn’t fail… there were such times, but then I answered myself that this is the way it is NOW. you shouldn’t moan about something that went wrong because of your own fault especially; and even if it’s somebody else’s fault there’s no point in moaning either. you have to look forward for yet harder failures. (laughs) I mean, the human nature is filled with the intent to fail. anybody who says otherwise is talking bullshit. cause you know, human nature is faulty, and what is faulty cannot pass. so, I kind of appreciate my failures cause they made me what I am. yep, some might say that failure doesn’t make personality but in my case it did.

Fail-here: I see… and here’s your field of expertise; failure philosophy and criticism!

Al: :)

Fail-here: but before entering that part I want to ask you a few more questions.

Al: well, go on!

Fail-here: what’s your opinion about this motto “failure is not an option”? it’s very popular these days.

Al: I hate it! failure is a good goddamn option. anybody who can’t see the beauty of it is ignorant. it’s just that people don’t want to see it as an option, because they’re so obsessed with the idea of success. they just don’t put it in as an option. but there it is all the way. I put the option FAILURE in… hmm… pardon my French… in sucking my professor’s cock for a decent grade, and I fail in it and I fail the course because I wanted to fail in sucking his cock or kissing his ass! but I see lots of people do succeed in sucking his cock and passing the course. because they don’t see failure as an option. but for me, hmm… you tell me, what’s the point of a decent grade if you yourself are not decent enough not to kiss a fella’s ass?

Fail-here: gee, what an example! so, what is your favorite motto?

Al: amor vincit omnia!

Fail-here: what does that mean?

Al: love conquers all things!

Fail-here: do you really believe it?

Al: I’m afraid I fail to believe it. (laughs)

Fail-here: I’ve heard the rumors that you’re a huge fan of movies... is that true?

Al: yeah!

Fail-here: what’s your favorite movie?

Al: hmm… it’s a difficult question. but I like “eternal sunshine of the spotless mind” very much. it’s without a doubt the best movie I’ve seen in years.

Fail-here: how come?

Al: first, I failed three times in understanding it. (laughs) second, it’s full of notions about failure. third, it’s the most literary film I’ve seen in my whole life.

Fail-here: can you elaborate on this failure notions you mentioned?

Al: yeah, of course. but I only mention some of the most important ones. in the beginning Joel sees his car is dented, and he fails to remember the cause. actually, he paid for this failure. then, during the course of the story, we see people’s communications break down. why? because they fail to keep on understanding. they lack the ability to succeed, cause their natures are faulty. Joel has failed in his relationship with Naomi and he also will fail in his new relationship with Clementine. and that boy I don’t remember his name but the actor was E. Wood, he fails to see that he shouldn’t try to be someone he’s not. he fails in being Joel, even if he has his journals and his presents and all, why? cause he’s not meant to be Joel!… if you try to be someone you’re not you’ll fail and this is a good lesson we all have to learn… and so many more failures take place in this great movie. but what’s more? at the end of the movie, Joel and Clementine both know they are gonna fail once more if they start it over again, but they welcome the future failure with arms wide open. they are great people. they see that failure is not a monster… it’s us! It’s humanity.

Fail-here: vow!